I Was Born A Goddess. To Live As Nothing.

Everything kept swimming around in my head and I couldn't help but wonder still. Why if I am everything that they made me. Why did my father name me Cynthia? I started researching this person. Cynthia. Wikipedia told me, "Cynthia was originally an epithet of the Greek
goddess Artemis, who according to legend was born on Mount Cynthus. Selene, the Greek personification of the moon, and the Roman Diana were also sometimes called."

This excited me. I'm named after a Goddess. Well, exactly how would a goddess act. I will become this. It was moments like this that I reveled in. A sudden brake in a connection and I saw my self in it. I wanted. I needed. That is what a goddess was. That is what the television told me. Because when I asked my family, they didn't know. I said ok, I'll find out. When my mother was well. She was just like me. If I don't know how. I will try it till if figure out how. Life took her away from me at a young age. Death was taking her away from me too soon. It wasn't coming soon enough. It was here that I found my connection to this name. She taught me to reach her. I reached her till she was gone. When she was gone. I cut bate. I loved my mom with all my heart. What I don't love, is the child she left behind. Because that child is me. When she became me. 

I am Cynthia. I allowed my mom to take it away from me. Just as I took it away from her. When she wanted to do something I let her. When she wanted help I helped her. When she wanted to wallow. I let her wallow. Until she reset and we danced again. The infinite struggle of I can do this all my self. Mixed with the truth of how much you need someone else. If we weren't there to make thing so hard on the other, neither of us would survived. It was there I found love for my father. He named me just right. Part Goddess, Part nothing. My first name meant I was a goddess. My last name meant I was common. Together, I am In complete. There had to be one more. Then I dropped my last name, and in braced it all at once. I changed the name, and I became that person. The worrier, and I chose the name of a home. Athens. I looked into its history and what I found was another goddess. I looked back to Wikipedia and it told me exactly why I chose this name. "Athena took her name from the city" I wanted to know why. Wikipedia told me that to. She lived among her demons and they were her family. She surrounded herself with her foes because they kept her safe. Anyone wanted to get to her, they had to go through them first. Then it told me why she chose that name. It meant nothing, but she made it something. "Athena has become an international symbol of wisdom, the arts, and classical learning. Western artists and allegorists have often used Athena as a symbol of freedom and democracy." 

I chose that name because it called to me. I took that name and morphed it into something wonderful. I let that name rule me, and I found peace. Inside I found Peace. I Became Cynthia Athens. A Goddess that shown dimply when they looked at her, but radiated in the darkness when they weren't looking. A woman with wisdom beyond her years, tied up in a nice package that looked like nothing. Left to wallow in herself, and loves it. 

With that little flicker of light I sent out. Someone heard me. Sent me a comment and they saw me. In that moment we connected. They could see the war I was fighting and they simply whispered a helping word. Nothing extraordinary. Just a simple keep it up. In that moment, everything became clear. 

Here I was again begging for conformation to keep going, and there I was once again giving it to myself. This time, do something with it. I Choose to help people the only way I know how. 

Let them hang out for the ride. Watch me, and learn.

I am a Cynthia Athens. I am the women that defy me. I am the creation of my self. I am a Goddess. I am nothing.

Sited Works:

Cynthia - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynthia

Athens - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athens

Athena - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athena