Dear Daddy, Love CynCyn

Dear Daddy, Love CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     As you know life has always been easy for me. I have traveled the world with my mother and our family my whole life. My Mother is the queen of a great Egyptian Empire. Which one she won't tell me. Since the fall of our kingdom, we have searched for a place to call home. Every time we settle down, it isn't long and we move again. I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm thinking its because of me. My blackouts are just getting worse, and mother thanks it stress. Perhaps it is, but it doesn't explain why I'm still having them. We left Crossroad years ago, and they still haven't subsided. My brother, Belial said its because i'm not eating enough and keeps giving me more milk and sweets. I swear he is trying to fatten me up. Mother says it can't be the food because everyone else is eating the same foods and they are all fine. So many things have changed since you left us back in Crossroads. At least the cook slips me a fried mouse every now and again. A lot of things have changed since you left. I am not that same girl you left behind, and I really wish you would come back. Mother, wouldn't tell me for a long time why you went away. I'm sorry I made you leave daddy. Oh, I hear the wolves howling at the door. The party must be about to start.
Love,
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     I can't believe it, It wasn't just any wolf howling at the door, it was my very own love, Blackheart. I met Blackheart in Crossroads one night, do you remember? If not I'll remind you. There had been a monster let loose in the village. No one knows who did it, and all the guards were busy fighting it. I ducked into the tavern, and hid behind the wall to say out of sight. Only it wasn't a wall. It was a huge black wolf. When he spoke to me the first time I thought I would wet myself. He looked at me and I looked at him, then he reached out his hand and helped me up. I was just a young kitten then. Probably about eighteen. That's about when my blackouts started occurring. Not when I met Blackheart, but my eighteenth birthday. Before my eighteenth birthday it was nothing but fun. I remember everything back then. I remember how we would take walks thought the palace, how you would fly me around over the valley. I remember when we would get to just be alone. I wish you didn't have to leave. Mother said it was my fault, and If I was a good little girl, you would come back. I think I was ten then. I still sit by the water and think of you every chance I get. Mother dressed me in the best clothing, and gave me the best of foods. I was allowed to sit with her during every event, but she would always send me to bed early.
     I was her prized child. She dressed me like a doll and gave me candy. I became a custom to these finer things in life, and haven't really known anything since. Her busy life drains me though, and every chance I got I would slip away. When mother wasn't looking, I often suck off into the kitchen and helped with the cooking. I would often help with the laundry, and sweep the floors. When mother found me doing any work, she would lock me in my room until she felt was long enough. It could be days or even weeks. The nurse maids would bring me food, and water, keeping me alive. I never stopped helping though. I remember what you told me. When I needed to clear my mind, help the maids. The work would help me focus, and clear my head.
     This mad mother very angry, and she would punish me by placing me in a locked room until she was ready to let me out. I wasn't sure why I was wrong for this, but I guess it was because I reminded her of you. Sometimes, she would leave me in there for days.
     On My eighteenth birthday, mother told me I was going to have a party. There was live music. Exotic foods. There were magic men, and gypsies. The best part was, it was all in town. For the first time I was allowed to go into town. They welcomed me with open arms. I was allowed to leave the palace as long as my brother Belial went with me.
     That was the first night I blacked out. We were out shopping and mom had just given me a piece of candy. I woke up to mother carrying me home. She was telling the Princess, you remember her. She ruled Crossroads, and allowed our family to live there. Anyways, She was telling the princess I had choked on some candy and was taking me home. We didn't think anything of it for a long time. Then it happened again. It kept happening, and I couldn't figure out why.
     Anyways, Blackheart was one of the first people I got close to. I met him during that monster attack. You remember how they kept getting let loose on the town. Well, I slipped into the tavern to avoid getting killed, and sorta used him as a wall. He almost made me wet myself the first time he spoke, but he handed me his paw and he helped me home. Mother, and Belial,  liked him so much she put him to work as my guard. We spent years together. He taught me about so many things. He showed me places my mother would have killed me if she knew I had gone. The friends I made along the way were so amazing, and unlike anyone I had ever met. Between my brother and Blackheart I had everything I ever needed.
     One day while Blackheart slept, and Belial was out hunting, I slipped away for a walk alone. I did this every night and never strayed far enough for Blackheart not to be able to hear if I screamed. Mother was out at another party and I was allowed to leave, because I had another episode.
     Belial is calling, we are leaving soon. I'll continue again, tomorrow, when we return from the Wolf Den. We have to present Blackheart as one of our family. Some truce agreement between our clan and their pack. I don't know.
Love,
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     Blackheart was wonderful last night. He was excepted as a protected member of our family, and is now safe to walk though the lands here. We live in Epic Fails. Its kinda like a stranded Island. Well, the night we arrived. There was an earthquake, an ancient Egyptian palace was uncovered. When everyone came to see what had happened, they assumed we came from it, because we were dressed in our normal clothing. Remember how mom is about her Egyptian background. Anyways, Bend and his pack believed this. Bend is the leader of the wolf pack. They have a pet zombie. He is fun to feed. They allowed us to say, because they said we were here first. They decided a truce between us right then and there.
     So far things have been going great. I've made friends with Criton, he's the zombie. Doreen likes to pick the bugs off him and let him eat them. He seems to be fine with that. Oh, Doreen is Belial's lover, or slave or something. She is a kitty too. Only she isn't as nice as I am. She has a daughter Coreen. Coreen is quite cute. She is probably 6 months old. Doreen lets me baby sit her in the evenings when, Belial wants to go hunting. He takes her with him to help clean and carry the food back. She told me one time that if it wasn't for the sausage, she would have left him years ago. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I've often wondered if maybe he would give me some too.
     Back to what I was saying yesterday. One night I slipped out into the woods for my nightly stroll, and I happened to come to this cave. I looked around and saw no one. I took a peak inside, with out actually entering the cave. When I turn around and this shadow grabs me. That was the first time I'd gotten so scared I threw light out of myself. At first the creature screamed, then grew darker and pushed it's self on me. It held me to the ground as I kicked and screamed. It was useless, he had covered my mouth with his, and sealed my mouth shut with some mystic glue.
     Tears fell from my eyes as he cast a spell and my hands and feet were tied to the ground. He took out his knife and started speaking words I couldn't understand. I fought against the ropes as he thrust the knife into my sides one by one, dragging the knife down my side. He sliced my wrist and the insides of my legs. Then he sliced my throat and stood there watching me die.
     I remember the moment time stopped for me. I couldn't hear anything. I speak. I couldn't focus. I knew the world was still going, but I simply wasn't apart of it. I closed my eyes. And everything went away.
     When I awoke, I was in a cave. It seemed a dragon had heard my scream, and risked his life to save me. I never called him by his name, because he was more than a friend, I owed him my life. When I first saw dragon he was licking his wounds. I looked at my sides and felt my neck. I was fully healed, there were scars running down my sides. My legs, My wrist. I could see everything he had done to me. I looked to the dragon and saw the same wounds on him and ran to him, as he was still bleeding. The moment I laid my hands on him, my body glowed bright as a start, and all his wounds healed. I fell to his side. I'm guessing I was probably out for around a week. When I woke up, the scars were all but gone. He was quite healthy, and stared at me for a long time. I tried for months to talk to him. He brought me food, and I cooked it. At first I tried to tell him I didn't eat raw food, but he just looked at me like a puppy. Much to my surprise, it was because he was a young dragon, who was kinda alone too. I was sitting there one day by the fire; which he made, almost hitting me again; and I was looking at him. I noticed he always looked at the exact same way every time. Like he was trying to speak, with his eyes. I tilted my head and stared right back at him exactly like he was me. We stared at each other for a good hour, when suddenly I could hear him talking. In my mind!
And boy did he have loads to say. First he told me about his family. Then he told me about how he came to rescue me. He told me about how he passed out before he could save me. He was grateful we survived, although he didn't think I would. He and I talked all the time and he protected me from that day forward. He returned me to my Brother Belial, and Blackheart. He gave me an amulet and told me to keep it on my neck. When I was in trouble and needed him, just touch it, say dragon, and he would come running. Dragon, often comes to visit me, checking in on me, we are connected, and even when he isn't around, I can hear his thoughts.
     Mother is calling, I better go.
Love,
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     Blackheart took me for a walk down by the beach today, and we went swimming. I couldn't believe he was back at my side. I thought when we were banished from Crossroads I'd never see him again. Here he was, years latter, standing before me. Blackheart and I finally had a moment alone to catch up. It was the first time in years I'd been able to sit with him like we used to.
     In crossroads there was a lake just outside town, on the opposite end of where we lived. Do you remember? There was a little gazebo there. I remember watching as Blackheart married another woman. Her name was Faye. I wished you were there, and cried myself to sleep that night.  It wasn't long after we were banished from Crossroads.
     Blackheart and I had spent many moments like this alone before. It was here in this moment he told me many things I didn't want to hear. He told me about his wife getting pregnant just after they got married. He told me about how she lost the babies, and Faye went insane and killed herself. He told me about the day he came in from hunting and found her hanging there. He told me everything, about how he was torn apart and that he wished he would have been able to save her. He also told me how relieved he was to have lost her, because he saw me that day.
     When I though he wasn't looking, and I turned to leave the wedding. He saw the tear in my eye, and he heard the sobs coming from my door that night. He left, because he realized he had made a mistake. He thought it was best he stayed away. He thought it would be easier. He loved his wife, and did his best to make it work. She simply, gave up after the babies died. When he returned to find me in Crossroads, I was already gone. He searched for anyone who would give him a clue to where I was. It wasn't until he found The Star, that he found where I had gone.
     It's bed time, I'll tell you more tomorrow.
Love.
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     I had another episode again. I am starting to see things in my black outs. I see images of standing behind my friends. I see biting on necks while they scream for help. I see blood dripping from my hands. I see everyone screaming. I can't move. All i can do is look around. All i can see is blood. So much blood daddy. These dreams scare me Daddy. This time when I woke up. I had cut my wrist. Daddy I'm scared. Mother says its punishment for being such a rotten girl. She says I throw fits, and scream, and throw things when in my episodes. I try not to black out daddy. I try so hard when I feel them coming on. She says that this is why you left. She told me you will never come back until I fix myself daddy. I'm trying so hard to stop daddy. I swear I am.
     Please don't give up on me daddy.
Love,
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     I'm starting to feel better. The doctor says these episode are getting worse, but the writing is helping. Mother said my last one wasn't as bad. She told me my body count was down to a record low. Daddy, I swear I never meant to try and kill anyone. I swear I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I don't know why I do these things. Blackheart told me once, it was my family doing it to me. I told him, they would never hurt me. Mother and Belial would never hurt me.
     Belial, told me earlier today, he was sorry I had to go through this. He carried me off to be and told me, not to loose hope. I think Belial knows I'm not hurting anyone because I want to. Sometimes I tell him my dreams, and he tells me its not my fault. I used to think Belial was such a tough man because he didn't care. I'm starting to learn its because he cares too much.
     Where did I leave off in my story? Oh yes, The Star. I met the star when i was about twenty years old. I was standing on the roof of the Tavern looking up into the sky when he fell from the heavens. I went to him and he was hurt. His arm was broken, and his leg was split open. I ran to his side and touched him. He called out in pain. I asked him what I could do to help and he told me nothing. I told him I wised there was something I could do to help, and suddenly I was glowing. Next thing I know he was too, and suddenly he was healed.
     He looked at me surprised and smiled at me. He stood up and told me he was a start. He had fallen from heaven. He told me he had to find someone to make three wishes. One to make a wish for selfish reasons. One to make a wish for unselfish reasons, and one to make a wish to free someone who deserves it. If he could find someone who would do that, he could remain on earth for as long as he wanted. I told him I would help. I had already made a wish for an unselfish reason, I figured the next wouldn't be so hard. I wished for the ability to change into a human woman. He looked at me and smiled. He told me because I was an unselfish person, and he could see the good in my heart, he would allow me to do this, if I would do him a favor. I agreed and asked him the favor.
     Normally, the three wishes had to come from three different people, but because he could see the curse I already carried he would give me all three wishes. If I would wish him the freedom to stay on earth. I thought it over and agreed. He needed A bit of hair from a lycan, and I always carried a bit of Blackheart's fur with me. He gave it to me when he first found out about my blackouts. He told me to keep it by my bed, and stroke it when he can't be there to lay by my side while I'm recovering. I gave it to the star, and he mixed it with my blood in a potion and laid it over my body. He then the same thing with a clay body. The clay body vanished, and I morphed into a human girl.
     Before I looked at myself, I stood up and wished him free. When I looked at myself, I couldn't believe my reflection. I had brown hair, Brown eyes, and milky skin. I was human. When my friends found out they bought me an elegant dress, and I walked around town. This was before I feel for Blackheart. I went to see the man I was dating at that time and showed him. When he saw me he cried. He fell to the ground and told me, he was coming to find me. He told me he had married another the night before.
     I remember the change fading from me as he left me there standing frozen in the streets. I remember how my friends gathered around me. I can still remember how still I was until he was out of earshot. I felt that tear run down my cheek, and I turned and ran home. My dress was ripped to shreds, and my heart was broken. I had wished for that change, just so I could be with him, and it was too late.
     That was right before the first time I killed someone. We were at dinner, and mother had let me try the wine for the first time. It only took a few sips and I was so tired i couldn't stand myself. I think I got through half of my first glass when I blacked out. When I woke up I was laying across my bed. The bed was covered in blood, but there wasn't a scratch on me. My Mother came into the room and sat down beside me. She told me she didn't know what had happened, but there was no reason to go around killing innocent women. I told her I didn't remember killing anyone, and she screamed at me for using my blackouts to commit murder. She told me I had gotten drunk and threw myself at a man. I made his wife jealous and then killed her. She told me I was laughing through the whole thing. I cried for weeks locked in that room. Belial brought me food, and I wasn't allowed to talk to Blackheart for several months after. Mother didn't trust me to leave her side for a long time. I never drank another sip of wine after that day.
     Mother doesn't keep me locked up after episodes anymore. She has come to terms with the fact I can't control them and they are getting worse. Now, I'm not allowed to eat with the family, except on special occasions.
Love,
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,
     Mother brought me before her today. She sat me down and told me I would have to apologize to the Wolf pack. Apparently, one of their pack was killed during my last episode. Mother told me if I didn't take whatever punishment they dished out then she would punish me herself.
     The wolf pack is coming over in a few days to hear my apology and to take me before their leader for judgement. Blackheart is going to escort me there. Along with Mother and Belial. They are going to try and explain about my episodes. I hope we aren't ran out of another place.
     In the mean time, I'll continue catching you up. After the first killing, the episodes kept getting worse. Blackheart started taking me out by the lake we used to sit at to clear my head. He tried to help me find ways to stop the episodes. I remember teaching him to dance, because he had never learned.
     Blackheart was a warrior, but his clan banished him, because he found out they were doing shady things. He stood against him and they cast him from their lands. Blackheart had been traveling every sense, till he met me and my family. He was a good guard when he wasn't watching over me, he was watching over our family. He became my best friend. He told me about his wife he had back at home, and how he loved the hunt. He told me about how she turned on him, and how it broke his heart. Blackheart told me he also killed people. He found pleasure in it. It was everything he lived for, and then he saw me. This little kitten, scared and alone in a tavern. I gave him something to care about again. He had been wallowing in his sadness from leaving his home, and I had touched his heart.
     I was young back then, and he was much older than me. For a long time I looked to him like a brother, and for a long time he looked to me like a daughter. He was my friend when I had no one. Belial was often off fighting the town, defending me, and mother was always having conferences with people, to keep them from taking me away. Blackheart seemed to be the only person I could be around, and not have an episode. At first mother didn't allow us to leave the palace. As she grew more tired of punishing me, and accepted I couldn't help it. She slowly let me leave more. Every time I thought they were over. I would have one and someone would die.
     Mother tried to hide the bodies, and often had them disposed of. Eventually, someone would catch on and we would be ran out. Mother told me if I wasn't her daughter. She would have disposed of me herself. There were moments with mother, when I felt like she still loved me. When she would comb my hair late in the evenings. When she would take walks with me through town. There were times when she showed me off to the town. Then the bodies would start to pile up. Most of them were my friends.
     Daddy, why am I this way? Please, help me...
Love,
CynCyn

Dear Daddy,