I stopped playing with dolls.
Why?
Because you told me so.
I stopped playing on the playground.
Why?
Because you told me to.
I stopped twitching and held it in to look normal.
Why?
Because you told me so.
I stopped singing.
Why?
Because you told me so.
I stopped playing with animals.
Why?
Cause you told me so.
I stopped playing with my toys and played with what you said I could.
Why?
Because you told me so.
I stopped being happy.
Why?
Because you took everything away, and told me so.
I stopped trying to seceed.
Why?
Because you took all my dreams.
I stopped everything.
Why?
Because you defeated me.
I'm unhappy and depressed.
Why?
Now, now you ask why?
I walk away and won't come see you.
Why?
Because you told me so.
I don't remember a time when you didn't say, "go away cindy."
Why?
Because you said so.
I tried to follow you and learn your way.
Why?
Because I love you.
I tried to understand why you think like you do.
Why?
Because I love you.
I wanted to play with you.
Why?
Because I love you.
I shared my doll with you.
Why?
Because I love you.
I wanted to keep playing.
Why?
Because I missed you.
I tried to keep up with you.
Why?
Because I wanted to play with you.
I did the things you liked.
Why?
So you wouldn't feel lonely.
I failed, and you left.
Why?
Because you can't hear me.
I come around, you get angry, and scare me.
Why?
Because I reflect you.
I couldn't find the words to tell you how I feel, so I became you. Then you rejected me. Threw me away. And now want to know why I won't come see you, don't want to be around you. When I showed you who I am you stripped me of everything I am, and forced me to become you. When you saw yourself reflected in my eyes, you hated me. I didn't like who you made me become, and I refuse to live unaccepted by anyone. Family or friend. When I am scared I hide, even if my words keep going, I'm not there. I play a part with every person I am around that doesn't except me. When you told me I was faking being this way, you broke my heart. So I pushed you away. When you told me to go away, I did. I except your temper and faults. But you can't mine. My mind is different, but my heart still feels love and pain. When I feel love, it consumes me. When I feel pain, it destroys me. When I feel happy, I can't hold back. When I am angry, I can't find my words. You pushed for me to explain what I was thinking and what was going on in my head and I have been searching all this time for the right words to say, but now it's been too long. Yes I love you still, but you gave up on me, because you stopped trying to understand me. I never did you. That's why I studied you. That's why I behaved like you. That's why I tried to do things with you. That's why I quit. That's why I lost you. Because you pushed me away first. What's harder, you wouldn't let me tell mom why I was hurting. But then that's life right. Don't tell mamma. So I didn't, I just let you strip me of life. Not anymore I'm going to be happy with or with out you. I will continue to fight the never ending battle in my head you all made for me, but I will do it my way. Safe at home, with the one man in the world who saw me, and loves me, exactly how I am. Toys and all. The only person who sees me through all the characters I play, and let's me twitch, and let's me play, and let's me sing with out music, and let's me talk to the plants and the animals and myself, and anything else. The one who let's me listen to the trees and feel the vibrations and escape all the belts and ropes and chains, you put on me. Yes I left, because I hated who you made me, and no I won't let him go, because he let's me be exactly who I am, without judgement.
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